Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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