fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
