I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
