i don't plan on having that self control this summer
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
