i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
