imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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