Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize