tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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