She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize