somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize