We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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