Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
