I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
