I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
