He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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