You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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