Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
