weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
