Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
