Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
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