Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
