Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
