There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
