KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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