her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
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