just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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