Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Randomize
