It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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