We're like a lot better than the average bears
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
