Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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