Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
