There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
How does one acquire holy water?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize
