Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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