your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
