So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
