she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
