It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
