rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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