As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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