was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
