i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize