I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
