Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
