Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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