since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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