we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
My bed is full of blood and feathers
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
