its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
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