My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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