i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
You are a genius and a whore.
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