On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
