If i come over, it means nothing
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
