My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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