we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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