oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
