I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
