apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
