Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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