Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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