Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
