"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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