It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
